Five To One: Rock Geeks

It’s Friday, so it must be Five to Ones. A solid gold top five here, but who have we left out? Get on the forum and put us right!


5. Stephen Malkmus
Malkmus is indie-rock geek personified. Floppy hair? Check. A nice line in sensible suit jackets and good sturdy woolen pullovers? Check. Smarty-pants, arch lyrics? Check. Über-alt. Side projects? Check. Still, Pavement rocked.

4. Lou Barlow
Same as Malkmus but with added horn-rim and side-projectry.

3. Ben Folds
Folds writes songs about being dumped, being bullied and having girls laugh at his man bit. It doesn’t get much more nerdy than that. Unles you’re Screech from Saved By The Bell and Rivers Cuomo just gave you a beatdown for being a poindexter.

2. Graham Coxon
Ex-Blur guitarist Graham one saw a suave girl with a suave guy in Camden while he was having a bit of a coffee, thought to himself, ’pfft’, then went home, had a wee cry and wrote a song about it. We rest our case.

1. Rivers Cuomo
With the Weezer man’s infamous aversion to eye contact, alleged penchant for barely-legal Asian girlfriends, reclusive nature, lyrics about superheroes and D&D, not forgetting the ever-present thick horn-rimmed glasses and cardigan combo, Cuomo leads the pack in the rock geek fraternity.